It’s been 20 years

Recently, an invite popped up on my facebook feed to join a 20 year high school reunion page by one of my old classmates.  20 years, already!  I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I loved my high school years and I reflect upon those days now mostly with positive memories.  I wasn’t one of the popular kids at school, but I wasn’t not popular either.  I can say with much confidence that most people would have known who I was for sure.

In the early part of high school, I definitely had a massive chip on my shoulder.  I was arrogant and over-confident to the point of obnoxiousness.  I was renown for my fiery temper, unmeasured opinions and ballsy lack of respect for teachers and pretty much anyone in a position of authority.  I can see now, with hindsight, that my future could have gone in a number of directions quite easily with the right trigger points.

Thankfully for me, I credit two of my teachers for shaping me and keep me on the straight and narrow – Mr Shobbrook, my PC (homegroup) teacher and Mrs Murphy, my english teacher.  And so, by the time I got to senior school I had tempered my behaviour somewhat and learnt a little bit about diplomacy and politics.

But now that it’s upon us, I’m not sure how I feel about a 20 year reunion.  About 8 years ago, people were contacting me asking if I was coordinating a reunion but my heart wasn’t in it.  I made a half-hearted attempt to test the water and with little to go on, I let it slide.  I’d been home a few years earlier and went to the pub with some friends and a group of ex-classmates were sitting in the corner looking us up and down and sniggering behind their hands.  I remember thinking, seriously guys? It’s been over 10 years and you still haven’t gotten out of that clique mentality?? And so a reunion held no appeal.

Now, I feel most people have gotten past that stage but with progress being made on planning, it’s caused me to think about what I’ve achieved in the past 20 years and of course invites the inevitable comparison to what others have achieved.  And if I’m honest, I’m feeling a little disappointed, especially on the career front.  The path I had envisaged for my career when I was at high school is so far removed from where I am now it’s not funny and whilst I’m grateful for the skills and experiences I’ve obtained, I feel that I’ve never really lived up to my full potential, despite the fact that I’ve been the epitome of loyal and hardworking over the years.

It’s depressing.  It’s something I’ve been trying to reconcile with myself this week.

Oh, and speaking of depressing, everyone has been posting up pics of our high school formal on the newly created Facebook book.  I’m not a fan of my formal pics at all.  A hairstyle that just didn’t suit my round face.  Make up which was an absolute debacle (was painted on like a drag queen by the make up artist and mum tried to salvage it as best she could!!)

So I’ll leave you with this – super style circa 1996 coming at ya… eek!! On the plus side, that’s my dad and my mum walking past behind me – so it was nice to see a picture of them that I didn’t have before!

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Have you ever been to a high school reunion? Do you feel you achieved everything you thought you would when you dreamed of your career back in high school?

 

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