I always knew that despite my emotionally challenged ways, I could at least muster up some empathy for families with sick children. Thankfully, this became apparent after meeting my hubby as one of his best mates had a child who had spent a significant amount of time at the Royal Melbourne Children’s Hospital as a baby and still does to this very day, 10 years later. However, until I met this family, I had always thought that when expectant mothers said that they didn’t care which gender they had as long as the baby was healthy was a bit of a crock; a cop out; a ruse to hide what they really wanted but were to scared to voice. After all, surely they had to have a preference?? At that time, having seen the impact of ill health on this family (albeit from a distance), I actually learnt that a healthy bubba is truly all that matters.
Late this week we had some horrible news about the son of one of my hubby’s cousins. Whilst not a bubba anymore, pre-teen boy is going through an unexpected rough time with him having been admitted to hospital on Wednesday and having several surgeries to his brain over the past few days. It’s not my story to tell, so I won’t divulge any more detail however I can tell you that I can’t get the situation out of my mind. The fear, worry and desperation he and his family must be feeling has been playing on my mind since I heard, surfacing in the moments when I’m not concentrating or am being distracted by everyday life.
And sadly, hearing news of sick children that I know is becoming a recurring theme of late.
A friend of mine had her first bubba nearly four months ago. A beautiful little boy who I was very much looking forward to meeting. Sadly only a few weeks after he was born was diagnosed with a brain tumour. He’s since lost his vision and in spite of earlier treatment he is now undergoing extensive chemo. I’ve still yet to meet him as he’s had to relocate to Melbourne for treatment meaning this poor family has had to be separated whilst the mum takes him for treatment and the dad juggles his work life to keep the family functioning financially. Heartbreaking.
You never think that these things will ever happen to you, but clearly the annual children’s hospital appeal would suggest that childhood illnesses are still very prevalent in our society. And as a parent of healthy children, whilst it makes you feel sad to hear of all the children who are ill, it makes you feel ALL. THE. FEELINGS. when you hear it about children that you actually know.
We’ve been blessed with healthy children and thankfully, other than a 5 night stint in ICU with Miss A who had bronchiolitis when she was 2 weeks old, we have not had to endure a hospital stay since. And even with that as a frame of reference, my mind boggles as I imagine what these two families are going through as they discover that their child is gravely ill and their world as they know it crashes down around them.
The hubby asked if we should go down to visit his cousin this weekend and I know from personal experience when my mum was ill, just how hard it was to deal with the niceties of people who you know genuinely are concerned and want to be there to support you but are really just another burden to have to manage during a confronting and scary time. And I wouldn’t want to do that to them.
So we will continue to send the most positive of positive vibes to both these beautiful families and let them know that we love them and that we care so that they have the strength to face the challenges that lie ahead.
Are you sending out the positive vibes to someone you know right now? Doesn’t the news of someone’s sick son or daughter just make you want to hug your own kids a little bit tighter?
2 thoughts on “When worlds shatter”
One of my dearest friends has a child with a genetic disorder. It’s very rare and degenerative. She regularly spends large amounts of time in hospital.
Recently they were in for a week and I went and spent a couple of afternoons with them (they couldn’t leave the hospital). We didn’t need to talk about what was happening – what could I say anyway? – but I was just there. Reading on my phone, talking about normal life stuff, having my nails painted.
It was both hard and easy to go home to my healthy children. It hurts when people we love hurt. It hurts a lot.
That’s awesome! I wish we were a bit closer to my hubby’s family sometimes so we could just drop by and show some support because I think you’re right, sometimes just the mundane things can really help people feel a bit connected. Certainly makes you grateful for good health doesn’t it?